Are you seeing this?
There are three constants in life: death, taxes, and YSL RICO fuckery. The shenanigans died down after the defense shifted from questioning Lil Woody, but things are turning back up to 11 with Quindarrius “Lil Dee” Zachary — QZ for short — on the stand. His short time on the stand feels less like the stuff you’d expect of a serious racketeering trial and more like a medley of realty TV show greatest hits. For example, there are moments that channel Flavor of Love:
Judges have done far worse than giggle at a smitten man on the witness stand, but pull it together, Judge Whitaker! You’re overseeing a serious trial, not a school dance where the “will they, won’t they” students hold hands for the first time.
There were moments that channel Sober House:
I don’t even know what show this would be, but it is great television nonetheless:
im crying, did y’all got finessed by this dudes family ? 😭😭
raised thousands of dollars to get him a lawyer, he fires him after 1 day, just to go on the stand and start “snitching” 💀💀 https://t.co/gZOGsTsEZF
— THUGGERDAILY ひ (@ThuggerDaily) September 20, 2024
Between this case and the upcoming Diddy trial, you should cancel all of your subscriptions to those streaming sites. These are going to be the only things worth watching.
Earlier: Woody Is Back In The Hot Seat & Credibility Is Rapidly Burning
YSL RICO Prosecutors So Bad Judge Mandates Tutorial On How To Do Their Jobs
Chris Williams became a social media manager and assistant editor for Above the Law in June 2021. Prior to joining the staff, he moonlighted as a minor Memelord™ in the Facebook group Law School Memes for Edgy T14s. He endured Missouri long enough to graduate from Washington University in St. Louis School of Law. He is a former boatbuilder who cannot swim, a published author on critical race theory, philosophy, and humor, and has a love for cycling that occasionally annoys his peers. You can reach him by email at [email protected] and by tweet at @WritesForRent.